All posts filed under: With you on your wondering way…

Soulful Sentences: Why I keep coming back to the humble journal.

When I was a kid I was very dedicated to my journal. I would religiously write my thoughts, ideas and grievances into its glitter edged pages with my special fluffy pen. I have always been curious about my brain, my mind; what it is that makes me tick. I sometimes find my thoughts to be like unwelcome strangers that need to be put on trial or shown the back door. Sometimes my mind is a very loud place to inhabit and I know I’m not the only one to feel this way. In my early twenties I wrote poetry in my journal. I found something deeply soothing about taking big emotions and condensing them onto a single page within the confines of a structure. These thoughts and feelings no longer felt so intimidating when they sat within their poetic cages sandwiched between sheets of paper. I had control over them, and somehow their power lost some of its grip on me. To me journaling holds a secret nature. My journal has always had a hidden …

A Place for Gentleness

This year I decided against giving myself any resolutions or strict goals. Last year had been a big year of change for me. I’d gotten married and finished a training course to become a Counsellor and Psychotherapist that had taken me four years of training and countless hours of volunteering (all while working to fund my studies). At the end of 2019 I was left with a question that didn’t seem to shift: ‘What now?’ I felt like so many doors had been opened to me that I couldn’t possibly walk through them all. Suddenly, my vision that had been so focused and singular only months before was blurry and undetermined. Then something shifted. I was on holiday with my husbands family in Northumberland. I felt anxious and worried and guilty that I was here on holiday when I hadn’t ‘gotten anywhere’ for months. I started spending hours on the beach combing for sea-glass and remnants of smashed and then smoothed pottery. I found I was distracted from my worried mind with these little treasures …

Starting is always the hardest part…

Starting something new, is for me, always the hardest part. I know this, and yet each time I embark on something new, a part of me feels a sense of resistance, a flutter in my stomach, a catching in my breath: An urge to move…absolutely no where. Some of this is rooted in our evolutionary biology. We are all creatures that have and will experience feelings of anxiety; our very survival depends on it. Where once our anxiety was rooted in very real and concrete things (such as a Bear popping out of the woods and chasing you) today our anxieties are more complex and nuanced. More often than not our fears and anxieties are based around the social world in which we inhabit. Job security, our relationships with others, money, social status, our productivity levels and self esteem are now wrapped up in our ancient unaltered biology. What I’m trying to say is; that being anxious in this modern world does not make you defective. In hundreds of years our bodies haven’t changed…but our …