All posts tagged: #mentalhealthmatters

Some Thoughts on Setting Boundaries

“The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none” On Instagram several times a day! When I think of the word ‘boundary’ I have to say the connotations that come up for me are universally wary and cautious. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way about boundaries. For many people setting boundaries can feel deeply uncomfortable. I actually on some level disagree with the quote above. Change is difficult, it’s difficult for us as individuals to gain the self-awareness to change and then to action this outwardly. Often when change does occur it can lead to those closest to us feeling unsure, skeptical or even angry. It’s not a black and white situation of ‘us and them’, it’s nuanced and complex. I think this is why a lot of people avoid setting boundaries in the first place. This is especially true for those of us who are recovering people-pleasers or sensitive souls. It can mean exerting a lot of emotional …

Getting Started with Self-Care

‘Learning self-care is like building your own lifeboat, plank by plank. Once you’ve got your boat, you’ll still be rocked by the waves of life, but you’ll have a feeling of safety, and a stability that means you can pick other people up on your way.’ Quote from ‘Self -care for the Real World’ by Nadia Narain & Katia Narain Phillips One of the most common things that comes up in conversations I have about self-care is the idea of selfishness. That spending a portion of our most precious resource: our time, to nurture ourselves somehow means that we are neglecting other’s and our responsibilities to them. The second most common theme that seems to come up is time (and a supreme lack of it) to spend on self-care. I used to feel this way too. I used to feel self-indulgent and guilty if I sat in the garden reading or daydreaming. In busier seasons of my life I perpetually ‘prioritised’ other’s needs before my own and rarely had time for myself by the end …

Starting is always the hardest part…

Starting something new, is for me, always the hardest part. I know this, and yet each time I embark on something new, a part of me feels a sense of resistance, a flutter in my stomach, a catching in my breath: An urge to move…absolutely no where. Some of this is rooted in our evolutionary biology. We are all creatures that have and will experience feelings of anxiety; our very survival depends on it. Where once our anxiety was rooted in very real and concrete things (such as a Bear popping out of the woods and chasing you) today our anxieties are more complex and nuanced. More often than not our fears and anxieties are based around the social world in which we inhabit. Job security, our relationships with others, money, social status, our productivity levels and self esteem are now wrapped up in our ancient unaltered biology. What I’m trying to say is; that being anxious in this modern world does not make you defective. In hundreds of years our bodies haven’t changed…but our …