All posts tagged: wellbeing

Vision Boards and Some Words of Encouragement for 2022

Published by Rachael

January is well and truly on the way isn’t it? I’m sure I’m not the only one, but I always have the lingering feeling of being ‘behind the curve’ with each New Year. I seem to still have one foot in the year before and am not quite ready to step fully into this one. This year that feels especially true. I’m now home in Sheffield after 17 months of living in New Zealand. January feels as if it is flying past me as I settle back into my home and reconnect with friends and family. Honestly, its been at times a bit of a bumpy transition. I’ve gone from an NZ summer into the UK’s deep dark winter. For the first few days of being back home I felt as if I’d fallen into a black and white movie. All the colours seemed dull and grey and my eyes struggled to adjust to the change. I’ve also had the sensation of landing in a country that has had to deal with the stormy effects …

Why I gave Yoga a second chance…and gave body shaming the boot.

Published by Rachael

The first time I attempted yoga was about ten years ago. It really really didn’t go well. So much so that I have a clear memory of leaving the yoga class at the end and dipping into the loos for a cry before carefully schooling my face to match all the other zen millennials’ crowing about the benefits of yoga. This is not what this blog post is about by the way. This isn’t about me trying to convince you to roll out your mat and start cat-cowing your way to contentment (obviously very cool if that is your jam). No this blog post is really about shame, and how we can hold shame in our bodies for a long time. This blog post is about taking a tiny bit of our power back when society makes you feel like a holey dishcloth your dad made from one of his old polo shirts. Spoiler alert: you are not a holey dish cloth and you never will be. So strap in (no pun intended) as I …

The best piece of self-care advice I’ve ever been given and something invaluable I’ve learnt in New Zealand.

Published by Rachael

One stormy day my supervisor and I were ping ponging back and forth with our frustration about how challenging it is to look after ourselves when our cup is empty. I remember the little attic room which we always met in and the sway of a huge oak tree outside the window that was getting battered by the rain outside. My supervisor noticed me looking out of the window and joined me in watching the tree getting lashed with wind, it’s branches getting bent backwards, it’s delicate spring leaves getting tattered before my eyes. Then I said, ‘I feel a bit like that tree right now.’ ‘Hmmmm.’ She replied, she would rarely rescue me from my discomfort and today was no different. ‘I suppose the storm isn’t the best place to plan from, when you’re in it… you’ve just got to be in it.’ I’ve thought about this conversation a lot over the years. It’s a theme that comes up again and again in my work. When you’re in the storm of a mental health …

Procrastination: The socially acceptable Mean Girl.

Published by Rachael

For the longest time I would joke about my procrastination tendencies. Again and again throughout my twenties I have laughed off my decision fatigue, my doubt and most frequently my fear for the sake of the cutie pie girl next door: Procrastination. A little like Procrastination’s mean big sister Perfectionism (she needs a whole blog post of her own!) Procrastination can be played off as an asset. She’s funny and lighthearted, relatable in a meme, she gives you license to put off today what you can do tomorrow. After all…that’s future me’s problem, right? (playful wink) Now, I’m all for letting ourselves off the hook when we need to. If you’ve read anything else I’ve ever written on this blog, then you know I’d be the last person to shake my head at someone taking rest and slowing down. It is vital for our well being. However, this is where procrastination can be so insidious. Procrastination can look like rest to the external eye, it can look like self-care, like productive de-cluttering sprees, scrolling and …

Taking Breaks, learning to Rest and Leaning into Loss.

Published by Rachael

Without meaning to I’ve seemed to have taken almost two whole months off writing on this blog. When I realised this my first instinct was to be critical with myself. A voice floated into my mind saying: ‘Another thing you’ve let slip‘. How unhelpful is that? I know I’m not the only one who has thoughts like this pop up from time to time. Then a kinder voice came to mind. One who until a few years ago was buried down pretty deep. She said: ‘You’re allowed to take a break, you’re allowed to adjust to a new season of life. Where did you get the idea that adapting happened over night?’ This question really intrigued me. We live in a world where so much is instantaneous. We can have hundreds of thousands of items delivered to our doorstep next day. At a click of our thumbs (like some tech-savvy fairy godmother) we can consume countless stories, films, art and opinions. This fast pace of life has seeped into my unconscious brain somewhere along the …

Hands and Hearts: An Activist and a Counsellor in Conversation

Published by Rachael

Jo has been a friend of mine for a few years now, so when she set up her new blog Climate.Emergence: http://www.climateemergence.co.uk I was so excited to find out more. Her blog is such a wonderful resource and so inspiring. Jo approached me and asked if I’d be interested in doing a joint blog post together. Of course I jumped at the opportunity to ask her some questions! We really hope you enjoy this collaborative blog post. Jo asks Rachael: 1.      What inspired you to become a counsellor? As part of my MA in 18th Century Literature, I took part in a year-long work placement. These were pretty randomly allocated and I got Sheffield Arts and Wellbeing Network (SAWN) which is an organisation that links people within the city who are promoting wellbeing within Sheffield. My role was to interview their members and to create blog post content for their website. I had a wonderful time meeting a huge variety of people from priests to hospital interior designers, artists and potters, poets and counsellors. One …

The Road Not Taken

Published by Rachael

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stoodAnd looked down one as far as I couldTo where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair,And having perhaps the better claim,Because it was grassy and wanted wear;Though as for that the passing thereHad worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally layIn leaves no step had trodden black.Oh, I kept the first for another day!Yet knowing how way leads on to way,I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sighSomewhere ages and ages hence:Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by,And that has made all the difference. – The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost (1916) I love poetry. I think poetry has always had a healing quality for me. There is a beauty in taking something complicated; namely our human experience, then distilling an essence of that experience into a few short stanzas. …

Favourite Five Calming Reads

Published by Rachael

Books have always been a constant source of comfort and inspiration in my life. I think books are the reason I even found myself becoming a therapist. I’ve always loved narrative, I’ve always valued that glimpse into another person’s world view. Books have often been one of the most helpful companions to me in times of worry or distress. A cup of tea and a few minutes in a book can make a huge difference sometimes. The books I’ve listed below are just that; five of my favourite books to dip into if I’m needing a little grounding or a reminder to slow down. I’ve read A LOT of well being books in the last five years; these titles have stood the test of time and still bring me a lot of comfort and inspiration. ‘The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down’ by Haemin Sunim Haemin is a Zen Buddhist Teacher and Monk from South Korea. I picked this book up from the National Trust on a drizzly walk on holiday as …

Some Thoughts on Setting Boundaries

Published by Rachael

“The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none” On Instagram several times a day! When I think of the word ‘boundary’ I have to say the connotations that come up for me are universally wary and cautious. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way about boundaries. For many people setting boundaries can feel deeply uncomfortable. I actually on some level disagree with the quote above. Change is difficult, it’s difficult for us as individuals to gain the self-awareness to change and then to action this outwardly. Often when change does occur it can lead to those closest to us feeling unsure, skeptical or even angry. It’s not a black and white situation of ‘us and them’, it’s nuanced and complex. I think this is why a lot of people avoid setting boundaries in the first place. This is especially true for those of us who are recovering people-pleasers or sensitive souls. It can mean exerting a lot of emotional …

Getting Started with Self-Care

Published by Rachael

‘Learning self-care is like building your own lifeboat, plank by plank. Once you’ve got your boat, you’ll still be rocked by the waves of life, but you’ll have a feeling of safety, and a stability that means you can pick other people up on your way.’ Quote from ‘Self -care for the Real World’ by Nadia Narain & Katia Narain Phillips One of the most common things that comes up in conversations I have about self-care is the idea of selfishness. That spending a portion of our most precious resource: our time, to nurture ourselves somehow means that we are neglecting other’s and our responsibilities to them. The second most common theme that seems to come up is time (and a supreme lack of it) to spend on self-care. I used to feel this way too. I used to feel self-indulgent and guilty if I sat in the garden reading or daydreaming. In busier seasons of my life I perpetually ‘prioritised’ other’s needs before my own and rarely had time for myself by the end …